When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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