The maid of honor just puked.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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