She went from zero to smokin in five shots
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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