but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
