Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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