Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
