she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sext me about skeletons
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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