he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
