this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
