i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
