I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
