You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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