Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is Oprah even human
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
