dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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