the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
