Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize