Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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