You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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