best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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