once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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