Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
