Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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