After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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