The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
