My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
