What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
