it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
