capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
