So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Found the puke drawer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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