OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you inspire me to be a worse person
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
