I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
