i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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