just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
