all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
