real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
