One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
