you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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