you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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