I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
