She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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