THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
