Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I party with great urgency now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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