Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just want to make out with him forever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
