I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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