I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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