I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
