There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
