I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
