Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
