i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
